Two months out, and the air is finally clear

It’s been about two months since I finally walked away from that job. To be honest, I had reached my absolute limit. I was teetering on the edge of burnout, and I knew if I didn't leave, I’d lose more than just my professional drive; I’d lose my mental health.

The hardest part wasn't the work itself, but the isolation. It was supposed to be a team environment, but I was constantly left to fend for myself. And then there was my "Senior." When I first started, I was actually excited. He had 25 years of experience; I was the newcomer. I thought, "This is perfect, I can learn everything from him".
One of the first things he ever told me was, "I’m not your tutor, and I don't want to be". That set the tone for the next two and a half years.

It was a constant cycle of being undermined. If you didn't follow his lead perfectly, even without guidance, he was ready to badmouth you. There was no help, no constructive feedback, just sterile comments and constant complaining. To hear him tell it, every inefficiency in the team was our fault. We were the "dumbasses" holding him back from delivering what he promised the clients. 
He even told me that I should just quit the industry altogether, that this job wasn't for me.
In the end, I did leave, but not for the reasons he wanted. I left for my own sanity. I’m trying to stay in this sector because I actually like it, and I haven't found anything that interests me more.

I was cooking lunch just a little while ago when I started thinking about it all again. I’d just received a message from a former colleague who was venting to me, saying that since I left, absolutely nothing has improved.
It made me realise how tragic his situation actually is. Imagine spending 25 years in a field you claim to like, only to act like that. He refuses to keep up with new technology and spends his energy pushing away the juniors who are supposed to learn from him.

Anyone who is truly passionate about what they do can't wait to dive deeper and, more importantly, can't wait to share what they know. I hope that as I move forward in my career, that’s the path I take. I want to keep that spark alive and share it, rather than becoming a bitter gatekeeper like him.

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