I fell for a an e-girl?

 I think I need to clarify a few concepts here:

  1. What is an e-girl? A girl who gives attention to guys in exchange for money/attention (spoiler: this is not the case)
  2. What is a Parasocial interaction? A psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters with performers [...] in online platforms (Wikipedia).
  3. I'm not as old as my avatar could suggest, but I'm not as young as this kind of situation can suggest. Let's say that I am around 25-55 years old. Not very explanatory, but ok.
This period it's not so good for me (and I know I'm not alone), I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago, I'm searching for another job I can't find another one, my finances...oh please, seriously you think I have finances if I decided to open a blog on blogger?.
So, as you can imagine, my emotions do not tend toward the positive side of the spectrum, and I needed a way to distract myself and keep my sanity while waiting for what I am doing to bring about some results and for this situation to pass.

Now that I have clarified my situation/starting point, we can go on, so why do I think it's not an e-girl?
First of all, she has a regular jo,b and she streams from time to time "just" for fun, and she doesn't ask for money. 

So why do I spend all this time, and even some money too (my subscription + some gifted subscriptions to the community)?
I don't have an answer, but I know for sure that I enjoy their company. I have her streaming in the background when I'm working. I also joined the community because I have a lot in common with them. It feels like a small village, we know each other and we can organise movie night, and so on, and for the same reason, I had the chance to talk and play with her too.

So, where is the problem? Because it seems just a supporter who enjoys a creator's work and supports her, where is the catch?

Now we can talk about Parasocial interaction. 
I'm not an expert, but from what I found on the internet about this phenomenon, it's some kind of unilateral connection with a public figure (actor/actress, creator and so on).
It's unilateral or asymmetric because the other part - the public figure - is not aware of the person who is looking at her/him. 
This form of relationship is fueled by posts, interviews, content and so on. The idea here is that all of these make the watcher feel like he/she is involved in the life of the creator, and that strengthens the bond.

And that is what I worry about. Can I be the person who can develop this form of connection? 


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