Fitness by proxy

Today was a strange day, the kind that leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth. For a while now, I’ve been gaining weight, slowly dismantling the progress I had achieved in the past months. Aside from the obvious signs, poor sleep quality and more frequent "cheat meals", I couldn't quite wrap my head around why the scale was climbing so rapidly.

To get some clarity, I took a tip from that "fit colleague" and downloaded a tracking app to check my macronutrients. It was a revelation. Looking at a typical day like today, I realised that while I technically consumed fewer calories than my limit, the balance was a mess. I was overloaded on carbs while being significantly low on protein and healthy fats. It’s clear now that I need to be much more intentional about the quality of my food, not just the quantity.

To find a spark of motivation, after dinner, I spent the... I don't know, early evening(?), with two YouTube videos playing in the background. Those videos talk about life transformations and getting back in shape, and I listened to them while I finished up some work at my computer, hoping their energy would rub off on me. But as I sit here writing this, the irony is hard to ignore.

The videos are over, my work is done, and yet I haven’t moved. I skipped my workout, it’s getting incredibly late (so probably I screwed up my sleep again), and I didn’t even manage to do my breathing exercises, the one thing that actually helps me stay calm and recover from the daily frustrations that keep me up at night. I spent the evening watching other people transform their lives while I stayed exactly where I was (well, actually, I think I took a step back).